Thursday, October 22, 2009

I miss this.

More than anything else.
I look back and try to find a time when i was completely, 100% happy. I think this photo is about that time.
We were so carefree. All this superficial bullshit never came into anything. We weren't involved in any particular scene, we were just us. And we were happy being us.
Every moment i used to spend with you was spent laughing and it truly was the best time of my life.
I want this back so much. Everyone, everything has changed. I miss you.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Ugly birds in a beautiful cage

We're all so ungrateful.
We're nothing more than monsters created to destroy.


I know where my loyalties you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A picture holds a thousand words.

When you stare at a painting for long enough, you begin to notice a lot more than just the image.
You start to see the little smudges where the artist has tried to cover up mistakes,
The tiny cracks made by the sun eroding away the paint,
You see that it isn't perfectly symmetrical, as first thought and, eventually, that picture that you saw in it all turns into merely a canvas of blended lines.
But amidst all the imperfections, some still manage to see that original image in exactly the same way. They look past the actual image and read the words behind the picture.
A picture, no matter how old and faded it is, will always hold that same meaning, read those same words.
Though some, although they may be beautiful, never held a meaning. No words were ever printed behind the image. So when the image fades it will leave behind a blank canvas. No words, no meaning. There never was, and there never will be.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Just an empty hole.

When people realise they cant love, or cant be loved in return,
They hate.
Because hate is the only emotion strong enough to fill the place that love should be.
And they hate the ones they should love.
And they hate the ones that can love.
And they hate the ones that can show love but choose not to.
But most of all they hate themselves.
And they always will. They'll keep hating, keep loathing.
Until one day they wake up and finally see that hate never filled that place.
But it's too late. They've hated the world away. You'll end up alone.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A far cry from a mind.

You think unlike anyone, yet you think that is normal.
You see things that noone else does, but expect them to notice them too.
You cry over the things that are missed, rather than those actually said.
You judge people as soon as you meet them, but believe you accept everyone.
I dont know where things went wrong, where they really fell apart.
All i know is that this is not right, it isn't how you are meant to be.
And you're slipping further and further away from that person you once were.
The worst part is, you cant even see it.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


It is completely lost, then slowly gained, only to find that control is over-rated and i find myself more lost than ever.
Control over my own self only means finding ambition and seeking more. Convincing myself that i know where i'm going, that i'm on track.
But this control over my own thoughts, actions and feelings proves itself dangerous.
I aim too high and hurt others in hope that i'll keep this control. While in my head, away from their eyes and ears, i secretly hope and pray that i'll lose it. Hoping someone else will once again lift this power from my shoulders and let my mind run free.
Let me lose myself, lose my sense of wanting, wishing for more and to once again be content.
To see past the things that, with that control, i would try to change, try to fix.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I know..

I dont give that girl enough recognition.
She is just all that is beautiful.
The most loyal, amazing friend i've ever had.
She has been there whenever i've asked
and sometimes it took me to open up my eyes a little wider to see her.
I've underestimated and under-appreciated this friendship way too many times.
Maddi Crothers, you amaze me in every way possible. I love everything about you.
Thank you for just being the greatest person
I love you!!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Thank you

I can't thank you enough.
You've proved to me that some things in life are just completely worth it.
You've made me realise that sometimes when people say they'll always be there for you, they actually mean it.
Thank you is all i can say and it isn't nearly enough.
Tonight you opened my eyes more than anyone has before.
You give me hope.
What you did tonight showed me what is most important,
I have found someone i can trust, someone who will be there through it all,
Someone i can count on.
Trust and reliance and both things i find hard in life, and anyone who knows something about my past would know that.
But i am now clear of any doubts.
You're amazing.

Monday, October 5, 2009

They say...

In times of need people find each other,
Maybe thats how it happened.
This is too much to comprehend. I am amazed.

Take a deep breath

The systems that used to keep me alive
are all failing on me
My blood stops pumping and heart stops beating
but somehow i'm still breathing.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Interwoven Threads

On a journey to find contentment
and I may have just reached the end.
I've picked at every loose thread
and pulled each individually until I unwound.
And somehow, while falling apart, I found myself.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


It was amazing
My friends are the greatest people ever.
I could never thank them enough.
Just little things today really showed me how much some people care.
Everything that was once elusive, is finally clear to me.
I know the ones I can count on.
I love you all.